David Archuleta is opening up about the darkest chapter of his life … revealing he was actively scouting locations to end his life before his faith stopped him.
The former “American Idol” star, now 35, makes the heartbreaking confession in his upcoming memoir “Devout: Losing My Faith to Find Myself,” out Feb. 17, admitting he was in deep turmoil trying to reconcile his sexuality with his Mormon faith.
In a devastating excerpt obtained by PEOPLE, David says he would go on short drives, quietly searching for places where he could crash his car without hurting anyone else.
At one point, he recalls finding a bridge he knew he wouldn’t survive driving off of — and admits he seriously considered doing it right then and there.
Even more gut-wrenching, David says what stopped him wasn’t fear of dying, but fear of surviving and being paralyzed … knowing he might not get another chance to take his life.
The turning point came when he prayed for his attraction towards men to go away — only to hear a voice he believes was God telling him it was wrong to believe being gay was a mistake, and that he had permission to love whoever he wanted.
David publicly came out as queer in 2021.
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