This week’s episode of “Saturday Night Live” began with a political cold open that brought Aziz Ansari to the sketch show.
The segment opened with Ashley Padilla’s Karoline Leavitt launching a press briefing at the White House.
“As some of you know, I’m about to go on maternity leave. That’s when you tell President Trump about your maternity, and he says, ‘Leave,’” she said.
Leavitt quickly ceded the mic to Colin Jost‘s Pete Hegseth.
“I’m not going to apologize because I wear my religion on my sleeve, literally,” he said. “I have a tattoo on my forearm of Jesus choking out Jimmy Kimmel.”
Near the end of his time on the mic, Hegseth said, “In summary, war is awesome.”
He then offered the podium to embattled FBI director Kash Patel, played by Ansari.
“After the attempted assassination of President Trump — another one — we conducted an investigation that could not have been more thorough. We dotted every T and bulged every Eye,” Patel said. “And for those of you saying I’m doing a bad job running the FBI, what if I just told you this agency is only six weeks away from pinpointing the exact location of Osama bin Laden?”
Ansari-as-Patel also bragged about his job so far.
“I’m a trailblazer. I’m the first Indian person to suck at their job. Everyone says, ‘Indian people are smart, hardworking, incredibly intelligent,’” Patel said. “I prove without a shadow of a doubt that we can be just as incapable and incompetent as the whites.”
The sketch ends with Hegseth and Patel both vehemently denying reports about their alcohol consumption.
Watch the full cold open below.
variety.com
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