Jeff Hiller Talks About His New Book, Fame, and Assholes

As the title of his new memoir — Actress of a Certain Age: My Twenty-Year Trail to Overnight Success — suggests, Jeff Hiller, 49, did not take the express bus to stardom. Best known as Joel, best friend to Bridget Everett’s Sam on the Peabody Award-winning HBO series Somebody Somewhere, Hiller accepted dozens of small parts and guest-star gigs while bouncing around showbiz, often playing killers and creeps thanks to what he calls his “unconventional” looks. The book, out June 10, chronicles the hustle it took for a “a way too gay little boy in 1980s Texas” to make it as a full-time performer. During a recent interview with Rolling Stone, he shared some lessons learned.

Everything is material

In his book, Hiller shares a trilogy of asshole stories — “not metaphorical assholes,” he writes. “These are stories about anatomical assholes.” In one, he recounts a Zoom visit with a corny joke-cracking proctologist during the pandemic. “He would be like, ‘Sorry, that’s my dog in the background. He’s a real asshole. And I would know.’ And, ‘I’m going to recommend you go to this other doctor — you’ll love him, he has really small fingers.’”

Hiller tells Rolling Stone there is even more to the story: “The even wilder thing is, when I went to the [other doctor], we went through this really intimate exam. I got dressed and he said, ‘Do you have any questions for me?’ Whatever, blah, blah, blah. And then he was just like, ‘And may I just say, I really love ASSSSCAT [Upright Citizens Brigade’s long-running improv show]. And you’re really funny.’ I was wearing a mask, and all he’s seen is my butthole. Throughout the entire experience, I just kept thinking, ‘This is so humiliating, but I am going to get a great story out of this.’ And I did.”

Practice gratitude

One of Hiller’s first TV roles was in the 2005 FX dark comedy Starved, a very dark comedy show with Jackie Hoffman and Laura Benanti and Sterling K. Brown as members of an eating disorder support group. He was cast as a sex worker providing services in a bathroom stall where two guys were trying to make themselves vomit. He did not appear on camera. “It was my first sitcom job, and for that I was grateful.”

Find your people

Hiller says the chapters of the book devoted to his childhood are a “love letter” to his mother, “who was just such a passionate defender of kids — her kids, specifically, but also just all people, really. Her heart led with compassion. And in the 2020s, that’s not necessarily been the number one emotion to lead with. My advice for kids would be to find your community.  Sometimes it’s not one you’re born into. And sometimes you’re lucky enough that it is.”

Know when to quit

Before he ventured into performing, Hiller was a social worker. The challenges left him deflated. “At the beginning I was like, ‘I’m going to change the world.’ Then when I got there, it was just like, ‘Oh. I can’t change shit.’ You really need to [be OK with] a lot of conflict. And I just didn’t have that skill. Even when I’d be like, “I’m going to fight for them,” the people would just trounce me and I’d be like, ‘Oh, well. That didn’t work.’ Saying I was really bad at it is also a way to alleviate my guilt over abandoning literal homeless people for an improv team. Where I was making no money. In the basement of a grocery store.”

Enjoy where you are

Describing the Somebody Somewhere fandom, Hiller cites a song from the musical Title of Show called “Nine People’s Favorite Thing,” which goes, “I’d rather be nine people’s favorite thing than a hundred people’s ninth-favorite thing.” “We are nine people’s favorite thing,” he says. “I can walk down the street and nobody will notice me. But then one person will be like, ‘Oh, my God, I never say anything to anybody, but I have to say something to you.’ It’s the perfect amount of minor fame, where the only people who see you are, like, weeping. … They’re like, ‘Please make another [season].’ I’m like, ‘Well, if it were my choice, we’d be doing a hundred-episode seasons.’”‘  

Dream big

Asked what his dream job is today, Hiller tells Rolling Stone, “I’d love to be in some dishy limited series where I get to wear nice clothes. Because I’ve only ever worn clothes that are like pleated khakis. Because, you know, I look like this. So I play the nerd a lot, or I wear a waiter uniform, or something. … So, yes, I’d love to be on Season Four of White Lotus.”