If you’re a Gen Xer like me, Andrew McCarthy defined a pretty significant chunk of your teenage movie-going experience — Pretty in Pink, Mannequin, Weekend at Bernie’s, and Less Than Zero were the freakin’ jam. But McCarthy has dramatically expanded his resume since starring in those iconic ’80s flicks, becoming a New York Times bestselling author, travel writer for major publications, and TV director. He joined me on How Success Happens to discuss his latest book, Who Needs Friends: An Unscientific Examination of Male Friendship Across America, and shared insights on fear, vulnerability, and why showing up matters more than you think. (Oh, and also what he really thinks of fans who run up to him to reenact scenes from Bernie’s.)
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We’ve broken down Andrew’s insights to help your personal success take off in three, two, one!
Three Key Insights
1. Fear Is the Silent Success Killer
While walking the Camino de Santiago pilgrimage route in his early thirties, Andrew had a profound revelation in a wheat field. “I just found myself on my knees sobbing, and I realized in that moment how much fear had dominated my life,” he told me. “I wasn’t aware of fear’s presence in my life until that moment of its first absence.” That “white light moment” of clarity launched his successful second career as a travel writer — because he finally felt what that 15-year-old kid felt when he first walked on stage, a pure, authentic calling to do something he loved.
Takeaway: Take inventory of decisions you’re making right now and ask yourself honestly: Am I moving toward something I want, or am I running away from something I fear?
2. Show Up — Physically and Emotionally
After his son asked him point-blank, “You don’t really have any friends, do you, Dad?”, Andrew drove 10,000 miles across America to reconnect with old friends he hadn’t seen in decades. The journey revealed something crucial: “As I drove and reconnected with one friend, and then the next, I sensed this sort of emotional safety net underneath me developing that I hadn’t realized I’d been living without.” It reminded him of an old cliche: 90% of success in life is physically showing up. “Go to the wedding. You don’t wanna go to the wedding. Nobody wants to go to the wedding. Go to the wedding. Just show up,” he says. “What it said to my friends was like, ‘Wow, you really value this.’”
Takeaway: Identify one relationship you’ve been neglecting and make a concrete plan to show up — whether that’s a phone call, a visit, or simply saying “you matter to me.”
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3. Let Your Work Be a Gift to Other People’s Lives
Andrew lights up when he talks about how those classic films still resonate with fans decades later. People quote lines from Pretty in Pink and reenact Weekend at Bernie’s bits in front of him, convinced they’re the first ones to think of it — and he genuinely doesn’t mind. What he sees in those moments is that they’re not really talking to him; they’re talking to their own youth, with him as the avatar. He told me that simply receiving that connection is “a beautiful gift to be able to give them, and they give me a beautiful gift” in return.
Takeaway: Treat the thing you’re building — your product, your art, your company — as a future gift to other people’s lives, and let their joy fuel you.
Two Free Resources to Learn More
- Pick up his book Who Needs Friends: An Unscientific Examination of Male Friendship Across America out now, and check out his documentary, Brats, about his journey making peace with the Brat Pack phenomenon.
- Read why this millionaire investor says relationships are the most stable form of wealth.
One Question to Ponder
Who is someone who had a great impact on your life who you’ve lost contact with? What’s stopping you from reconnecting?
Send your answer to howsuccesshappens@entrepreneur.com — we’ll be reading responses on a future episode of the show!
About How Success Happens
Each episode of How Success Happens shares the inspiring, entertaining, and unexpected journeys that influential leaders in business, the arts, and sports traveled on their way to becoming household names. It’s a reminder that behind every big-time career, there is a person who persists in the face of self-doubt, failure, and anything else that gets thrown in their way.
If you’re a Gen Xer like me, Andrew McCarthy defined a pretty significant chunk of your teenage movie-going experience — Pretty in Pink, Mannequin, Weekend at Bernie’s, and Less Than Zero were the freakin’ jam. But McCarthy has dramatically expanded his resume since starring in those iconic ’80s flicks, becoming a New York Times bestselling author, travel writer for major publications, and TV director. He joined me on How Success Happens to discuss his latest book, Who Needs Friends: An Unscientific Examination of Male Friendship Across America, and shared insights on fear, vulnerability, and why showing up matters more than you think. (Oh, and also what he really thinks of fans who run up to him to reenact scenes from Bernie’s.)
Subscribe now: Apple | Spotify | YouTube
We’ve broken down Andrew’s insights to help your personal success take off in three, two, one!
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